I think I'm going to follow suit with my best friend (who did this last week) and take a media fast. My brain needs it. So does my school work, and my work-work and...pretty much everything else. I'll be back in a week.
Hopefully this will do me some good.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Strain
Financial strain, educational strain, relational strain... = my life.
My #1 wish is to be freakin' done with school. My life will be 100% better once it's finally over. I'll be able to work in the morning so I can have every evening off to spend time with the people I love and miss. And I'll be able to work enough hours to actually survive. Right now, I'm NOT making enough to survive. I'm just not. And I'm not spending my money right, and I'm trying and failing.
and I'm just feeling so strained and it's mostly all my fault. The rest of the fault is school.
School...
I've decided that "school" is actually a vampire that sucks the life right out of you.
yup.
My #1 wish is to be freakin' done with school. My life will be 100% better once it's finally over. I'll be able to work in the morning so I can have every evening off to spend time with the people I love and miss. And I'll be able to work enough hours to actually survive. Right now, I'm NOT making enough to survive. I'm just not. And I'm not spending my money right, and I'm trying and failing.
and I'm just feeling so strained and it's mostly all my fault. The rest of the fault is school.
School...
I've decided that "school" is actually a vampire that sucks the life right out of you.
yup.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Life happens
It's amazing how much life can change, and how quickly things can happen. My life did a biiiig back flip last year, and it's crazy to look back and see everything that's happened since then.
And things can change again in an instant.
On a slightly different note, I have a LOT of things to look forward to coming up soon.
I'm excited.
And things can change again in an instant.
On a slightly different note, I have a LOT of things to look forward to coming up soon.
- Halloween
^Jake and I last year.
I have VERY mixed feelings about this day. Two days before was the hardest day of my life.
- Our four year anniversary (on October 30th, so I guess that's BEFORE Halloween. haha)
- Thanksgiving =)
- Being DONE with School forever!!!! (unless I go back...bleh)
- Christmas
 |
| My biological family on Christmas Eve 2010. We're just missing a few significant others =) But I LOVE us. We are so goofy. |
 |
| Part of my "other family." I don't know if I ever will get another picture with everyone in it. So this will have to do.This was the day we put the tree up =D (missing me, mom, Joe, and Lauren's husband Phil.) |
- My 21st birttttthdayyy. yeeeahh boiii
- Valentines day =) Jake and I always have a good valentines day...even if we don't do much. hee hee.
I'm excited.
Monday, September 12, 2011
1-2-3-4 tell me that you want me more
1. It's my babyy's birthday today.
I love him so much. haha. I can't believe he's 25. It's a little scary for me, since I'm only coming up to my 21st birthday.
2.Tonight we are having this:
(I made this one for Jake and I...tonight we are making it for about 10 or more people)
It's called "Thai Hot Pepper with Basil and Peanuts." It's our favorite dish at Big Bowl (which is our FAVORITE restaurant...and it's where Jake proposed way back when). Big Bowl is a Chinese and Thai restaurant, and we go to the one in Rosedale Mall, Roseville MN. If you've never been...GO. It's amazing.
3. School seems so pointless today. I am dreaming and yearning for it to be over. I wanted to skip today, my excuse being that it's Jake's birthday. He told me absolutely not, I was going to school. Haha...always looking out for me. =)
4. I am an A-Mazing procrastinator. I really want to be a....non-procrastinator. But meh, I don't know if that's gonna happen any time soon... Good thing I'm awesome at getting things done quickly... (pumped out a four page paper today in about 40 minutes. lol)
2.Tonight we are having this:
It's called "Thai Hot Pepper with Basil and Peanuts." It's our favorite dish at Big Bowl (which is our FAVORITE restaurant...and it's where Jake proposed way back when). Big Bowl is a Chinese and Thai restaurant, and we go to the one in Rosedale Mall, Roseville MN. If you've never been...GO. It's amazing.
3. School seems so pointless today. I am dreaming and yearning for it to be over. I wanted to skip today, my excuse being that it's Jake's birthday. He told me absolutely not, I was going to school. Haha...always looking out for me. =)
4. I am an A-Mazing procrastinator. I really want to be a....non-procrastinator. But meh, I don't know if that's gonna happen any time soon... Good thing I'm awesome at getting things done quickly... (pumped out a four page paper today in about 40 minutes. lol)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Put a little more life in my day
I feel like SUCH a crazy person right now! Seriously. My life is hectic and I just want to scream "SLOW DOWN!" I want to be able to have time to "stop and smell the roses" and all those other wonderful cliche's.
Last night I was hanging out with my FMIL and she was telling me that the fact that I don't have time to do the things I did before (like watch a lot of TV and read froofy books) means that I'm actually doing something with my day, but I don't care... I don't want to be "doing something" with my days. I just want to be able to enjoy my life and right now I'm in the prison of doing things that I'm "suppose" to do, and fulfilling things that society tells me I'm obligated to do (school and work. bleh bleh bleh).
I know I'm already starting to complain about this a lot and I've only had school for a few weeks, and I really really shouldn't be complaining because lots of people have SO MUCH MORE schooling left than I do. I should really just be thankful, but I'm finding it really really hard...I just want to have time to be with people and not have to worry about all these silly responsibilities. I miss my Jacob. I know that I see him at least three days a week but...I use to see him every day. We would do things together and have time for "fun." But even when I got to see him everyday, I still missed out on things because I had to go to work. Now it's even worse because I've got school in the morning and work during the night and I'm always too busy to do the things we use to do together.
ON the brighter side of things...I know that being in school often helps me improve in other areas of life because I'm more often then not trying to avoid homework. Haha. I think I'll start doing pilates/yoga again, and I'm always a better house cleaner during school. That whole situation is more complicated now, however, because last semester when I was in cleaning mode I would just clean Jake's house (which often needs it). But now I have my OWN house as well. So, it's gonna be a tricky balance figuring out where I'm going to spend those hard earned cleaning hours this semester.
Anyways...sorry about all my jibberish complaining and such. Here's to hoping I don't get burned out this semester by trying to do just too dang much.
<3-- Me =)
Last night I was hanging out with my FMIL and she was telling me that the fact that I don't have time to do the things I did before (like watch a lot of TV and read froofy books) means that I'm actually doing something with my day, but I don't care... I don't want to be "doing something" with my days. I just want to be able to enjoy my life and right now I'm in the prison of doing things that I'm "suppose" to do, and fulfilling things that society tells me I'm obligated to do (school and work. bleh bleh bleh).
I know I'm already starting to complain about this a lot and I've only had school for a few weeks, and I really really shouldn't be complaining because lots of people have SO MUCH MORE schooling left than I do. I should really just be thankful, but I'm finding it really really hard...I just want to have time to be with people and not have to worry about all these silly responsibilities. I miss my Jacob. I know that I see him at least three days a week but...I use to see him every day. We would do things together and have time for "fun." But even when I got to see him everyday, I still missed out on things because I had to go to work. Now it's even worse because I've got school in the morning and work during the night and I'm always too busy to do the things we use to do together.
ON the brighter side of things...I know that being in school often helps me improve in other areas of life because I'm more often then not trying to avoid homework. Haha. I think I'll start doing pilates/yoga again, and I'm always a better house cleaner during school. That whole situation is more complicated now, however, because last semester when I was in cleaning mode I would just clean Jake's house (which often needs it). But now I have my OWN house as well. So, it's gonna be a tricky balance figuring out where I'm going to spend those hard earned cleaning hours this semester.
Anyways...sorry about all my jibberish complaining and such. Here's to hoping I don't get burned out this semester by trying to do just too dang much.
<3-- Me =)
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Up in the Air
My life is kind of up in the air at the moment. School is cemented and I continue to hate it every day. But I'm pluggin through...and I'm soooo close. But work...work is not so cemented. about a month ago I got a job as a PCA taking care of my roommate's grandmother. It's been really rewarding work, I enjoyed my time with both my client and her family. They were all really wonderful. And I feel like I was just getting use to being there with them on weekends and I was just finally feeling like I had a regular schedule (what with working there, still working at Caribou, and with school starting).
My client passed away last night/this morning.
Not only am I grieving the person that she was and feeling bad for the family that she left, I'm also a little frightened. I don't know what work is going to mean for me now. I called the company I'm registered for and asked for more clients, but at the moment I don't know what I'm going to be doing, for whom, or how many hours I'm going to be working and when. It's really scary...the scariest part being not knowing what my paychecks are going to be.
So anyways...my life is a little up in the air right now because of this, and not only would my client's family appreciate the prayers, but I would appreciate prayers as well...that I'll be able to find a good client and good hours.
Also, one of these days I'm going to put up a recipe Jake and I tried and what the meal looked like. It was DELICIOUS. It's actually our favorite dish from our favorite restaurant (Big Bowl: Chinese and Thai). Next post =)
*edit*
I forgot to mention that my parents chihuahua that they've had since about February died yesterday. He was hit by a car and killed instantly. Too much death this week...too much death. I know a dog isn't the same as a grandma, and I wasn't as attached to him as I am to my 8 year old dog I've had since he was 8 weeks old, but it's still sad.
Genna (Jake's little sis) and Jojo (my parents dog) summer 2011.
Rest in Peace, mojo Jojo
My client passed away last night/this morning.
Not only am I grieving the person that she was and feeling bad for the family that she left, I'm also a little frightened. I don't know what work is going to mean for me now. I called the company I'm registered for and asked for more clients, but at the moment I don't know what I'm going to be doing, for whom, or how many hours I'm going to be working and when. It's really scary...the scariest part being not knowing what my paychecks are going to be.
So anyways...my life is a little up in the air right now because of this, and not only would my client's family appreciate the prayers, but I would appreciate prayers as well...that I'll be able to find a good client and good hours.
Also, one of these days I'm going to put up a recipe Jake and I tried and what the meal looked like. It was DELICIOUS. It's actually our favorite dish from our favorite restaurant (Big Bowl: Chinese and Thai). Next post =)
*edit*
I forgot to mention that my parents chihuahua that they've had since about February died yesterday. He was hit by a car and killed instantly. Too much death this week...too much death. I know a dog isn't the same as a grandma, and I wasn't as attached to him as I am to my 8 year old dog I've had since he was 8 weeks old, but it's still sad.
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