Done! Almost...

I finished my finals today. I'm feeling pretty good about them. At least...I'm sure I passed all my classes and will not have to go back to Concordia! I have one last project to finish, and then I'm actually done. I'll have my Bachelor of Arts! It's very exciting.

Other new things:
1) I am furthering my plans to go to Florida. I finally sent a letter to my aunt. I haven't heard anything back yet, but...it's a start.
2) I'm starting an internship/volunteer type thing with my best friends husband and his "team" of people that are making a website. I'll be helping them with editing. It's a pretty exciting opportunity for me.
3) I haven't really gotten into the Christmas spirit. It's just kind of seemed like something that was really far off. But today I went Christmas shopping, and also went out to dinner to celebrate being done with finals, and I feel a little bit more...cheery now. And exhausted. I really don't like to shop. Not for long periods of time anyways. I just get tired and stressed out. And even though I hate it, I know that snow will add to the Christmas cheer. Something else that might make me feel like Christmas really is coming would be to go around and look at cool light displays. Anybody know of any cool ones I could check out?

Favorite moment of the day

BEFORE I tell you my favorite moment of the day, I have something else to say:

It is a typical Minnesota Dilemma to have just thought to myself "I'm REALLY hungry, but I don't want to get out from under my blankets!" hahaha. It's sooo cold in my house right now! But I do love that under-the-covers-warmth feeling.

Ok, so favorite moment of the day:

I definitely saw a car dressed up as Rudolph. I laughed so much! It was just what I needed after my hard day at school. I noticed one antler sticking up above their passenger door first, and then I looked and there was one above their drivers door too. I was sooo amused that I immediately started trying to take pictures with my phone so I could send a pic to my besties. As I'm driving next to it trying to get a pic, I passed it and there it was: attached to their front grill was a big, red, lovely looking ball. A Rudolph nose!!!!!! This was the point where I really started to freak out. I finally got a really good picture that had all the antlers and the nose in it when we were stopped at a red light. The lady driving totally saw me taking the picture and smirked.

I should have given her a thumbs up. She made my day.

*ahem*

Why is it that I can never get everything done that I think I can or that I want to?

I went to a Christmas Party tonight at the house of one of the people I am a PCA for. It was wonderful and lovely, and it kind of felt like I had coworkers again. I never get to work with anyone except my two clients, so... I kind of miss having coworkers. I like to talk to my clients, but it's just the two of them...not a handful of people like I usually have had. I really enjoyed my time with them. BUT, her apartment is in PRIOR LAKE. which is...very, very far away from my home. So by the time I got home tonight it was already 8:40pm.

My plan was to attack some homework, attack my room (there were still plenty of things that had not been put away yet or unpacked, from my move the day before thanksgiving!), and be asleep by 12...

Yeah. It's 11:55 and all I did was attack my room.
ohhh well. I do feel better knowing that I got some of my stuff put away. I feel more organized. And there is STILL more to do, organizing wise.
But, I guess it never ends does it...

off to do some homework!

Maybe a little bit Selfish

I know that this might seem a little bit selfish, but I'm going to write a Christmas Wish List. The REASON I'm doing this is really to help other people. PLUS, I'm curious what other people want too. So comment away!

• Jewelery. Any kind really, I just want more. Lots more! Especially necklaces. I don't know why, but I really love necklaces. Thrift stores often carry jewelry that I like, especially Clothes Mentor.
• A nice soft and fuzzy robe.
• Squishy cheap normal pillows, like the ones at Target or Walmart. I just need some new pillows.
• A CD by Mandisa. I don't even know if they have one or 20, but I love the music Mandisa makes and I waaaaaant it.
• A Michael Buble CD wouldn't hurt.
• more Glee music. I love the music from Glee
• I want some audio books. I know that sounds weird, but...if you had to drive as much as I have to drive, you would understand.
• Anything home-made that a person would want to make for me. I'm really into that stuff right now, and I love getting gifts that I know lots of hard work went into making them by the person giving them. It just really means so much more.
• new soft slippers WITH a heel. My favorite ones were some flat thin slippers I got from target for 2 bucks. They are getting a bit worn out...
• Money is always good. I need money for two specific reason (among many others): My trip to China (if you're interested in knowing more about that, email me) and my possible move to Florida (which is unknown at the moment because well... I haven't asked my relatives that live down there yet).

I'm sure there are more, but those are the ones I've thought of so far. I'd really LOVE if I didn't get any picture frames or Journals this year. I wouldn't mind getting some movies, but they aren't quite as thoughtful I guess. And, inevitably, somebody is going to buy me a picture frame or a journal. It just happens.

NOW, TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT (what you really really want, cause I told you what I want what I really really want).
Thanks.
Buh bye.

Avoiding Homework...

I really really just want to write right now. Unfortunately, writing my papers is something I have no interest in. I'm a little afraid to blog right now because I think I might sound a little redundant. Nothing really new is happening in my life and all I want to do is complain about how much I hate everything right now.
I hate school.
I hate the weather.
I need to exercise.
Certain people drive me nuts.

Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so.

On an update, I actually really like being back at my parents house. I just feel more at peace there. The downsides? People pop into my room CONSTANTLY. haha. But I actually kinda like it. I like feeling like I'm involved in something and that my family just wants to know what I'm up to. On the other hand... I think I might really need to get a lock for my door =P. Especially for in the morning time...my parents never fail to open my door, for some God-forsaken reason, and their annoying little dog never fails to come in and lick my face. I think I'm actually starting to get use to it, because I barely noticed Julia's little tongue going into my ear this morning. Yes. My Ear. She likes to lick ears.

The other downsides: my room is probably 1/3 the size of my old room
I don't have cable (which is a good and a bad thing. Mostly a good thing, but still)
My parents house...is falling apart AND it's filthy. Might sound like some pretty dreadful things to you, but it's something I'm sorta use to so whatevs.

I can't wait until I'm done with School! I only have tomorrow, then ONE week of regular classes, and three days of finals! It feels like it'll never get here, but I know it will and then I'll be DONE! I also kinda feel like I'm going to fail every class, but my mom says that's a normal feeling. I want to say that I'm trying not to fail...but I'm not really trying. I juuuust can't try anymore. I'll scrape by though, I know I will. Annnyways, one of the reasons I can't wait to be done with school is so that I can start cleaning up my parents house. Right now I feel like I never have any energy to start working on big projects, like decluttering for my mom. She's a shop-a-holic, and thus has many...maaaanny things she doesn't need. It's starting to close in on us and suffocate us. It needs to be dealt with, and I feel like I might be able to start working on this once I'm finally finished with school.

So there you have it. I guess I wasn't TOO redundant, but this sure was a huge post!
I'll post pictures of my room before I decorated it and after I decorated it. I LOVE decorating, it's so much fun! My bestie got to see my room when it only had new paint and nothing else and then I texted her a pic of my newly decorated room...she said it didn't even look like the same room! I love it, but I may be a bit biased...

ok, time to stop avoiding homework.

Thankful

For Laughter:

 And for Silly-ness:

<3 my family

It's the Holiday Season...

Since Thanksgiving is coming up here shortly, I figured it was ok to listen to Christmas music. So on Friday on my way home from work (looooong long drive. About to get longer) I turned on 102.9...and as I'm listening to these classics and singing along, I realized something.

Pretty much every Christmas song that I love love love is...romantic? What the heck is wrong with this picture?

I really like Christmas time. When I was younger it was magical, and now being older...it is kind of romantic. I wish it was more Christ centered, and it IS Christ centered for me, but...there is a very romantic feel to Christmas time. I've never really thought about it much, except for when I was 15 and I was sad I couldn't be with my boyfriend on Christmas (haha...ohhh teenie boppers). But listening to this romantic Christmas music made me realize...I haven't bee "single" on Christmas since I was fourteen.

It's a very...very...strange feeling. I'm not quite sure what to do with this feeling. I don't like this feeling. It's weird. 

Positive-ity

It's list time, foo!
1. I love seeing people I haven't seen in awhile. I got to see my only girl cousin today, who lives in Florida and I haven't seen since her wedding 2 years ago. I got to meet her 8 month old baby and it was just...great.
2. I can't WAIT to get a new freakin' phone!
3. I'm excited to not have access to TV when I move back in with my parents. TV has become a serious addiction since I canceled my netflix account. I can't stop! And at home I mostly watch "Friends" and "That 70's Show"... I feel like I see the characters on that show more than I see real people! When I'm with my client we watch cool mystery shows and make faces at each other. It's fun.
4. I either NEED to get a new SD card for my camera or something to upload pictures from my BETTER camera. I'm dying not being able to take pictures.
5. My hair color has really changed since I dyed it. I wish I could show you, but I Don't have a camera to take pictures with.
6. I NEED Neeed neeeed to start working out. And possibly taking vitamin D? I can't let this winter get a hold of me!



I'm trying to have a positive outlook on life and decide how I can be more proactive to get all these things done. That is why I'm sharing. AND that  is why I called this post "positivity."

Random Facts for the Day

1. I love violins. And stringed instrument music in general. I wish I could play the cello or something.

2. I hate that I get home so late on Thursday and Friday. I have so much I want to do and it's already time for bed!

Quitting

First of all...It's already the 9th of the month and I haven't posted yet.
That's partly because of media fasts, partly because of laziness.

Anyways, I've decided that I'm going to quit caffeine...again.
Last year I quit around the holidays because I was just very irritated with the fact that I relied on coffee. I needed it and I HAD to have it. It was just annoying and frustrating. Well, I feel like I'm back to that place. Worse even because I usually have more than one cup a day. I had been getting free half pounds of coffee from work every week, and that was/is what was/is keeping my caffeine addiction alive. Last week was my last week working for Caribou (this week has been my first week that I haven't had to work every day but one. It's been WONDERFUL). So I figure it's the perfect time to "ween" myself off.

I only have a few half pounds of coffee left. I'm starting to just have one cup of coffee (which is a little hard) and soon I'll have 1/2 caf coffee thanks to my mom giving me a half pound of decaf. Once all the coffee is gone, I'm done drinking it. I'll get some tea and finish weening myself off that way. I know that quitting during winter time doesn't seem to make that much sense, but it does for me. It's time.

I've also been doing media fasts, and I want to continue doing them on a regular basis. Just to remind myself that the internet isn't everything... I just quit using it for a day or two or three.

So anyways. That's my update for the day.

Satisfying the Urge...

...to cut my hair:

From Thisto this:

Books. And Hair

Reading. Read read read read. That's the life for me...I guess.
As an English Major it's impossible to do anything but read. All.The.Time. And during school I am told to constantly reeeeeead.

"It's not easy: they teach us to read as children, and for the rest of our lives we remain the slaves of all the written stuff they fling in front of us." (If on a Winter's Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino, pg. 49)

So true. But I honestly love to read. I just don't like being told WHAT to read. Though I love suggestions. Do you have any suggestions? I can't wait until I'm done with school and can read all the suggested books people tell me about! Leave me a comment about your favorite book or a good book have you read recently (I know for some of you, those like me, you don't HAVE a favorite book. It's impossible for me to pick).

ALSO:

I went from blonde to brown yesterday. It took forever, but it feels so wonderful. I feel so much prettier as brunette.

Tomorrow I'll be getting a hair cut too. I'll post a new picture then. =)

Monday monday mondayyy...

Dear Monday,
I do not like you. Please leave me alone.

Sincerely,
Your enemy...Weekend.

Haha. I'm trying to have a bit of humor today because well..I'm tired. And I'm sick and tired. And I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I'm being a bit pessimistic today.
But here is my plan of attack/goal to make that better:

• Quit Caribou Coffee. I don't enjoy it, it's a stress on my life, and the ONLY reason I haven't quit or reason I would stay is for the money. It drains my precious energy I guess. I'm praying this is the right decision and that God will lead me once I'm done. I'm giving my two weeks notice today.
• Start reading my bible and other Christian related books instead of watching so much TV or spending too much time on Facebook (which my good friend-- best friends husband--has helped me with by blocking Facebook on my laptop. Keeps me off while I'm at school at the very least).
• Start doing Pilates. I NEED to start doing some sort of exercise. Apparently my parents canceled my YMCA membership (which I did not know, but cannot control), and I KNOW I need to be doing something. Especially since winter is coming on quickly. It helps my energy level and my happiness level. At least a little.
• Getting my homework done farther ahead of time, and actually READING what I'm suppose to be reading.
• Going to bed earlier so I can get up earlier so I am not rushing to get everywhere I go.
• Spending less time with my ex. I know I care about him and it's hard for me to be away from him and be alone, but I KNOW I need this. And that he needs this. 

They are all tough things to do. It will noooot be easy. But I'm praying for God's strength and that he'll help me have better self-control. I'm done just being frustrated with myself and saying that I hate my life. It's time for me to just...change it.

Favorite Moment of the Day

Having a philosophical discussion with these two:

<3

Influence

I discovered another new and lovely song. (ok, so I had heard it many times before, but it's really hitting home right now).
I Need You to Love Me
Some of my favorite lyrics:

Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth
I don't deserve You

The Part about "Why are you still here with me? Didn't you see what I've done?" almost just made me burst into tears when I was listening to it. The whole song is really powerful but another lyric that really speaks to me in my life right now is this:

"I won't keep my heart from You this time"

I want the maker of my life and my soul to know that I love Him and that I NEED Him. I know he knows this. And I know he knows that I know this (haha...sounds like a line from a movie). I just want to reiterate it and acknowledge it.
Anyways, songs and music have been really touching my life lately. I listen to Christian music in the morning and it helps touch my spirit and start my day out right (The north central station, 95 point something, and KTIS 98.5 are the only Minnesota ones I know. Guess I'll have to learn what the stations are in FL when/if I go) and I also try to listen to it whenever I'm in the car. That kind of music makes me feel good inside, and I'm in the car A LOT. So it helps me to have good days when I have good music going into my soul.

I also need good people. I'm in prayer about that right now.

The other thing I'm enjoying right now is a book called "Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best while Waiting for Mr. Right" by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones. That's a book I started thanks to the Best Friend, who read it after a break-up while she waited to "discover" her Hubby, Phil. I admired her so much for breaking up with her ex-boyfriend because he wasn't good for her and I was so proud of her for becoming an amazing woman of God while she "waited." What the book teaches about is finding peace and fulfillment in God, saying that a man won't DO those things and you won't ever be fulfilled by finding a husband, but that you can only be fulfilled when you seek to "be One" with God.

Right now I'm thankful for good music, good literature, and good people. They help influence my life for the better, and I'm thankful.

PS: Lauren. Thank you for being such an amazing influence in my life. I've always looked up to you and you've always been my role model. You have been and continue to be an amazing example. This is a shout out to you. My beautiful best friend. =)

Strong Enough

"Strong Enough"-- Matthew West
You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough

I just heard this song for the first time, and wow...totally me right now. You should check it out, I really like the song as well as the lyrics! I might even buy Matthew West's CD at some point...

Uprooted and replanted.

OK...so, I'm sorry for not writing after my media fast ended. My life's been...quite a whirlwind.
But I'm still a dreamer, have no doubt.

Isn't it so beautiful? That's Dunedin, Florida
My current life goal is to leave. I just want to go and do and be! My other goal is to dedicate my life to God. I told him to re-shape me and help me to be the person that HE wants me to be. I'm done saying what I want. I want Him to tell me what I want. Haha. I don't know if that even makes sense, but that's just how I feel.

I'm not really sure where my life is heading. And I feel like that's ok...because...I just want God to plan it. For so long I've been trying to force my own way through life and "make my own path" and I didn't really care what anyone else said or thought. Including God. But now I'm free and I'm giving myself back to Him. I know I want to move to Florida, and I know I want to meet someone who will lead me in God's ways and who is a stronger Christian than I am. I also know I want horses. Other than the warmth, a "better" guy, and horses...I have no idea. I'm not in control anymore. And that's a bit scary, but it's also exciting.

I'm excited about life, and I'm excited about what God's going to do for me and with me.

The only thing I can control at the moment is getting to a warmer climate. It's something I've always wanted and I'm praying about it to make sure it's what God wants for me. I think it will be good for me. It'll help me "start over" to be able to pick new people to surround myself with. So...the plan is to finish school, finish my lease, move home with my parents (not something I'm exactly excited about, but the dollar signs are flashing in my head), and eventually move to Florida and live with my aunt or my grandmother.

My family and I (minus one brother, I believe) are going to China next summer to visit two separate orphanages. We're going with a group from our church and I am SO excited about it. I mean... I get to go to CHINA. What a cool opportunity. A chance to serve and be with my Jesus, as well. I can't wait. We're fundraising for that right now and it's on my mind a lot. That's happening in the end of July/beginning of August (I just typed October instead of August...whoops. haha. That would be a BIG window). So I wouldn't be going to Florida until after that for sure. Plenty of time to save for the move, right? Well...we'll just see about that.

So that's how I would describe me right now... a dreamer whose rooted in Jesus Christ.

Media fast

I think I'm going to follow suit with my best friend (who did this last week) and take a media fast. My brain needs it. So does my school work, and my work-work and...pretty much everything else. I'll be back in a week.

Hopefully this will do me some good.

Strain

Financial strain, educational strain, relational strain... = my life.

My #1 wish is to be freakin' done with school. My life will be 100% better once it's finally over. I'll be able to work in the morning so I can have every evening off to spend time with the people I love and miss. And I'll be able to work enough hours to actually survive. Right now, I'm NOT making enough to survive. I'm just not. And I'm not spending my money right, and I'm trying and failing.

and I'm just feeling so strained and it's mostly all my fault. The rest of the fault is school.

School...

I've decided that "school" is actually a vampire that sucks the life right out of you.

yup.

Favorite moment of the day

Jake humming out of tune to his music.
<3

Life happens

It's amazing how much life can change, and how quickly things can happen. My life did a biiiig back flip last year, and it's crazy to look back and see everything that's happened since then.

And things can change again in an instant.

On a slightly different note, I have a LOT of things to look forward to coming up soon.

•  Halloween

^Jake and I last year. 

I have VERY mixed feelings about this day. Two days before was the hardest day of my life.

• Our four year anniversary (on October 30th, so I guess that's BEFORE Halloween. haha)
• Thanksgiving =)
• Being DONE with School forever!!!! (unless I go back...bleh)
• Christmas

My biological family on Christmas Eve 2010. We're just missing a few significant others =) But I LOVE us. We are so goofy.

Part of my "other family." I don't know if I ever will get another picture with everyone in it. So this will have to do.This was the day we put the tree up =D (missing me, mom, Joe, and Lauren's husband Phil.)

• My 21st birttttthdayyy. yeeeahh boiii
• Valentines day =) Jake and I always have a good valentines day...even if we don't do much. hee hee.

It's gonna be a crazzzzyy time in my life.
I'm excited.

1-2-3-4 tell me that you want me more

1. It's my babyy's birthday today.

I love him so much. haha. I can't believe he's 25. It's a little scary for me, since I'm only coming up to my 21st birthday.

2.Tonight we are having this:

 (I made this one for Jake and I...tonight we are making it for about 10 or more people)
It's called "Thai Hot Pepper with Basil and Peanuts." It's our favorite dish at Big Bowl (which is our FAVORITE restaurant...and it's where Jake proposed way back when). Big Bowl is a Chinese and Thai restaurant, and we go to the one in Rosedale Mall, Roseville MN. If you've never been...GO. It's amazing.

3. School seems so pointless today. I am dreaming and yearning for it to be over. I wanted to skip today, my excuse being that it's Jake's birthday. He told me absolutely not, I was going to school. Haha...always looking out for me. =)

4. I am an A-Mazing procrastinator. I really want to be a....non-procrastinator. But meh, I don't know if that's gonna happen any time soon... Good thing I'm awesome at getting things done quickly... (pumped out a four page paper today in about 40 minutes. lol)

Put a little more life in my day

I feel like SUCH a crazy person right now! Seriously. My life is hectic and I just want to scream "SLOW DOWN!" I want to be able to have time to "stop and smell the roses" and all those other wonderful cliche's.

Last night I was hanging out with my FMIL and she was telling me that the fact that I don't have time to do the things I did before (like watch a lot of TV and read froofy books) means that I'm actually doing something with my day, but I don't care... I don't want to be "doing something" with my days. I just want to be able to enjoy my life and right now I'm in the prison of doing things that I'm "suppose" to do, and fulfilling things that society tells me I'm obligated to do (school and work. bleh bleh bleh).

I know I'm already starting to complain about this a lot and I've only had school for a few weeks, and I really really shouldn't be complaining because lots of people have SO MUCH MORE schooling left than I do. I should really just be thankful, but I'm finding it really really hard...I just want to have time to be with people and not have to worry about all these silly responsibilities. I miss my Jacob. I know that I see him at least three days a week but...I use to see him every day. We would do things together and have time for "fun." But even when I got to see him everyday, I still missed out on things because I had to go to work. Now it's even worse because I've got school in the morning and work during the night and I'm always too busy to do the things we use to do together.

ON the brighter side of things...I know that being in school often helps me improve in other areas of life because I'm more often then not trying to avoid homework. Haha. I think I'll start doing pilates/yoga again, and I'm always a better house cleaner during school. That whole situation is more complicated now, however, because last semester when I was in cleaning mode I would just clean Jake's house (which often needs it). But now I have my OWN house as well. So, it's gonna be a tricky balance figuring out where I'm going to spend those hard earned cleaning hours this semester.

Anyways...sorry about all my jibberish complaining and such. Here's to hoping I don't get burned out this semester by trying to do just too dang much.

<3-- Me =)

Up in the Air

My life is kind of up in the air at the moment. School is cemented and I continue to hate it every day. But I'm pluggin through...and I'm soooo close. But work...work is not so cemented. about a month ago I got a job as a PCA taking care of my roommate's grandmother. It's been really rewarding work, I enjoyed my time with both my client and her family. They were all really wonderful. And I feel like I was just getting use to being there with them on weekends and I was just finally feeling like I had a regular schedule (what with working there, still working at Caribou, and with school starting).

My client passed away last night/this morning.

Not only am I grieving the person that she was and feeling bad for the family that she left, I'm also a little frightened. I don't know what work is going to mean for me now. I called the company I'm registered for and asked for more clients, but at the moment I don't know what I'm going to be doing, for whom, or how many hours I'm going to be working and when. It's really scary...the scariest part being not knowing what my paychecks are going to be.

So anyways...my life is a little up in the air right now because of this, and not only would my client's family appreciate the prayers, but I would appreciate prayers as well...that I'll be able to find a good client and good hours.

Also, one of these days I'm going to put up a recipe Jake and I tried and what the meal looked like. It was DELICIOUS. It's actually our favorite dish from our favorite restaurant (Big Bowl: Chinese and Thai). Next post  =)

*edit*
I forgot to mention that my parents chihuahua that they've had  since about February died yesterday. He was hit by a car and killed instantly. Too much death this week...too much death. I know a dog isn't the same as a grandma, and I wasn't as attached to him as I am to my 8 year old dog I've had since he was 8 weeks old, but it's still sad.

Genna (Jake's little sis) and Jojo (my parents dog) summer 2011.

Rest in Peace, mojo Jojo

An End and a Beginning

Today is the last day of my summer vacation. Some people get excited when school starts again...but I am not one of those people. I've had my moments where I was ready to start doing school work again, and to have all the experiences that school brings with it. But school has honestly never been something I look forward to or enjoy.

I did two years of college in High school because I wanted to be done with school as soon as possible. Last semester could have been the end of my college years if I had taken more credits while I was in high school...it wrapped up a total of four years of college. But alas, I was short just a little. So I have ONE MORE semester left. I think the fact that this is my last semester makes it just that much harder to go back. I find myself thinking and wishing that I should be/could be done already. I'm not done, but I am sooooo close.

So not only is today that last day of my summer vacation, but this is also quite possibly my last summer vacation. Unless I go back to school someday, which is a possibility (I'm only 20 for crying out loud!). But for now, that's what this summer was.

I'm not really scared of the fact that it's my last summer vacation. For some people that means they have to "get into the real world"...but while I might not have a "grown up job" yet, I have had a lot of the responsibilities of being a grown up and...it's not as scary as I thought it would be. It's still a lil scary at times, but I'm not cowering at the thought of being thrust into the "real world." I hate school. I'm ready to be done.

The other thing is that I love summer...I love summer just a bit too much. And I despise winter with a passion (whyyyy do I live in Minnesota? good question...). I don't ever want my summers to end.

I'm starting a new phase in my life, and I've been trying to get a full action packed last week in with my favorite person:

(he's wearing my mom's caribou sweatshirt...size small)



We really are headed for a completely different life than we have been living. Soon I'll be done with school and just working, and hopefully soon Jake will have a job...things are about to change and I'm just trying to "take it all in" before it does.

"There is No Life Without Love"

My roommate, Melissa, has that ^ tattooed on her left side. I think it's a pretty great saying, and I personally believe it's reeeeally true.

Something else I can't live without...

Silly-ness.
And my best friends. =)

Something I hate?
Construction in Minnesota. I'm living in a new part of Minnesota that I've never lived in before, and I'm pretty much completely unfamiliar with all the area's around me. Today is the second time this summer that Genna (my lil sister-in law...to-be) and I have been trying to go to a very specific place and got cut off by construction. It's very frustrating when you only know one way to get somewhere, and construction workers tell you that you can't go that way.

*frustration*

But I'm still in a good mood, because though my computer is throwing a fit and trying to tell me it's just done with me, I have some great men in my life that know how to make it run for me, which is why I'm able to sit here at McDonalds and Bloggy on my computer while Genna is at her Taekwondo class.

Something to make you smile:

Beautiful Life

ok...so I just want to take a second in this blog post to say how much I appreciate TRUE friends. My best friends are the friends that except me for who I am, ridiculousness, weirdness and all. In fact, they love me more for the weird that I am. My best friends are the people who don't just take take take in their relationship with me, but instead we have a give and take relationship. I look to keep people around who build me up instead of tearing me down or making me feel stupid. These friends, they're the ones I call family and they mean so much to me.

My bestest friend came over on Saturday. She and I haven't had a lot of time to hang out lately because we're both crazy busy with school and work and boyfriends/husbands. And even though we didn't really gab a ton today, we just hung out with one another. A true friend will hang out with you even if you're cleaning your house. Which is exactly what Lauren did. I really appreciated the company. I don't like to be alone much anymore (I use to LOVE to be alone), so it was sooo enjoyable to just have her there with me.

I'm just taking a moment to appreciate life and the two wonderful families that I'm proud to be a part of. Neither my family or Jake's family is perfect, but they are definitely both my Family and I love them all so much. As time goes on and life get's busier, it's these 12 (13 if you count Phil--Lauren's husband-- which I do =P) people that I make time for, want to spend time with, that I love and cherish. It's them who love me for exactly who I am and support me in what I do. Other friends may come and go and their lives will go in so many directions, but I know I will always have the Villavicencios and the Vasterlings.

I spent last week with my youngest family member, Genna Villa. She's 12, and we seriously had an AMAZING week. I'm completely broke now, but it's hard for me to even care because of all the fun we had. Monday she hung out with her best friend and I made a poster for work. It was the least eventful day, but it makes me smile to know she enjoyed it completely because her friend was there.

Tuesday--Swimmin at the beach!
Wednesday-- went to the farm, brushed and hosed off some horses! Didn't get to ride because it was wayyyy too hot. It was in the extremes allll week.
Thursday-- was literally the perfect PERFECT day. Not only was the weather amazing, but the activity and the friendship was too. Genna, Jake and I went to a Pool in Highland at cost 6.50 each, and didn't have much inside (a few slides, diving boards, rock climbing wall, and HUGE pool) but it was just an amazing time. I wouldn't do it again-- just because of the price-- but that day was absolutely wonderful. The best part was that I got to spend it with two of my favorite people, who both love me to death =)
Friday-- We went to Lumberjack Days in Stillwater MN. We watched a lumberjack show, a BMX bike show, got a snow cone (genna) and a free massage (Me)! But I think the best part of the day was the lunch/dinner at DQ, along with the sundae and the airconditioning (another scorcher).

I'm actually a little bit sad that my time with her is over (which is, sadly, the first time this has happened this summer. Too many stressors my other weeks I suppose). My pocket book, however, is glad for the reprieve. I would wonder if I was gaining anything (financial) for "watching" her, but at this point I don't even care. Just spending time with her is payment enough, in the end. And we have even more plans awaiting us her next week at her dads. =D

I'll have to post pics whenever I finally decided to upload them to my computer

Homecomings

I love to watch TLC. I just turned it on and now I'm blubbering. The show that's on is "Surprise Homecomings"...all about soldiers who surprise their families when they are coming from Iraq or Afghanistan. I have been trying to avoid this show, and now I can't stop watching it.

*tears*

Proud to be an A-Murr-ii-can.

I had an amazing day/ Fourth of July.

Family. Just sittin' around and gabbin.' The way it should be =]

My friend/ J's cousin's gf...and her awesome sparkler picture. =P

Fireworks =D (our very own, semi pathetic firework show. The best kind)



I love Jake's family so much, and spending the holiday with them was just wonderful and delightful. Jake's aunt Debbie and uncle Tim hosted this year, which was a switch up for the family. They usually have it at a different house every year, but the family who usually hosts is just worn out completely. It was a great place to have it instead. Open space, a play ground, lots of games, a firepit. Jake may or may not have exploded a bomb and nothing happened cause they are so far out in the country. It was just great. A perfect fourth. Even working this morning wasn't so bad. There was one hour that was just pure chaos, but other than that I really didn't even mind that I had to work today. People are friendlier on holidays. And tips are really good. Haha.

I did have somewhat of a falling out with my family on the third of July. Not with my immediately family, but with my Uncle who hosts fourth of July. I brought Ace over there and my Uncle made me feel like we were very unwelcome, which was the exact reason that Jake didn't come with me to my families "thing," because my uncle made him feel very unwelcome as well. Anyways, I got very upset and told my mom that I felt that my family wasn't welcom-- because Jake and Ace are my family now-- and that if they weren't welcome than neither was I. It's a very complicated situation with my family, but it makes me sad to think that I don't every really want to spend time with my side of my new "family" because of one person. It really is too bad.

I'm trying to be positive and cheerful as always, and today really was a tremendous day. One of my two cousins from my mom's side of the family is in town, his name is Caleb. I haven't seen him for years and I am very excited to get to spend some time with him this week. He may or me not be my favorite-est cousin *shush!*

That's all for now folks! I'm tiiiiiired.
Hope y'all had an amazing Independence Day!

Saturday Mornings

I feel like Saturday mornings should be something that kids remember and treasure. I don't know why I feel that way, I just do. My dad worked every day of the week and still does, but he had the weekends off. Saturdays were always his "get stuff done" days. But he'd always have us tag along and help him out. Sometimes we'd go to the dentist and it was actually something fun, like an adventure. We'd go with dad and all my siblings and then afterwards sometimes we'd run errands. Or we'd clean the house/yard together, and sometimes dad would take us with him to the car place or the store. I don't know why, but for some reason these things were really really fun for us when we were little. I still have those memories and I like thinking of my saturdays. They were time to spend with my family, and my daddy.

I'm sitting at the Caribou Coffee shop in Roseville that my mom works at, actually, and I'm waiting for my oil change and tire rotation to be finished. There is a dad and his son sitting nearby me and they also just dropped their car off at Tiresplus. It just reminds me of the precious times my siblings and I had with dad. I think the fact that he took us with him to get things done on Saturdays made us feel special. And those feelings of wanting to get stuff done on saturdays are still with me.

It makes me happy to think that I can be like my dad and take my saturdays to do things that I need to do. I went to the gym this morning and worked out, and now I'm getting my oil changed, and then I'm going to run to goodwill and drop some clothes off for a friend that just moved away. I feel good about my saturday morning, and it reminds me of the "adventures" I use to have with my dad when I was little.

Jake's siblings have a different version of Saturdays. Their dad use to actually take them on adventures to new places they had never been, while their mom would go out to breakfast with her sisters and sit and gab. The kids have very fond memories of what they came to call "Reventures," and their mom got to relax and let dad take over for one day. I know that he and his siblings loved Saturdays just like I use to.

I want my kids to have memories like that with their dad. And I guarantee I'll be ok with spending some me time with some girlies on Saturdays. It makes me excited to think about. Sitting here watching this dad and his little boy makes me wonder if a lot of people have special memories of specific days of the week with one or the other of their parents...and if they had family rituals. I love family rituals, and I can't wait to start my own some day.

So...any body out there have some cool family rituals or fun things your parents did with you when you were young that you have fond memories from?

Falling in Love

Meet Ace (my Ace-y poo):

And my "new place"...I basically have an apartment within a town home. hee hee

The door that is open on the left goes out of my room, and there is a window on the right that isn't in any of these pics. The "window" you can see on the right in this one is actually a door that goes outside!

baaaathrom is the second door on the right.

you can see that my closet is over there...

shooooooes...and such.

This one is from the hallway entrance to my bathroom:

I know the bathroom isn't all that exciting, I just wanted to show what it looked like. haha.

I am very excited about my new place and my new pup. I don't know why on earth that could be...(sarcasm). So my bedroom is in the basement of the townhome. The stairs right outside of my hallway lead to the level that contains the laundry room, the garage entrance, and the front door entrance. Go up one more flight and there is the living room, dining room, kitchen and a deck. Up one more level and there are melissa and Jeremiah's quarters. They have a bedroom, two walk-in closets (bigger...by a lot, than mine), a bathroom, and another deck. It's pretty sweet.

I got the loveseat in my room from a wonderful couple that my parents met at church way back when. I really like the loveseat and I'm very grateful to them for it. There is also a desk type thing to the right of my (Jeremiah's) TV that I got from my wonderful friend when she was moving away.

I am falling in love with these two things, and it's summer, and I just couldn't be happier. I really couldn't.

List Girl

1. I got approved to live with Jake's buddy, Jeremiah, and his fiance Melissa. YAY!

2. I moved IN with Jeremiah and Melissa....hahaha

3. I LOVE my new home. I haven't been able to spend too much time here yet because I was "nannying" this past week (I was "watching" Genna, Jake's little sis).

4. I can't take pictures of ANYTHING because my camera is dead...aaaaand Lauren (bff) stole my SD card! haha. I let her use it, but I haven't gotten it back yet. I meant to grab Jake's big Canon camera today...but I forgot. Surprise surprise.

5. Jake was gone for two weeks. He came home yesterday and told me he had a "surprise" for me....


HE GOT US A DOG!!!!!!!!!!!

He paid $50 dollars...for a $1,200 dollar dog, sooo...I don't really want to say he "bought us a dog" because...he didn't reeeeally buy it.

Anyways, he's a German Shepherd/ Great Dane Mix. He barely has any Great Dane in him though, his previous owners said it's about 10 percent great dane and the rest is just german shepherd. He is HUGE, and only 9 months old. Which means he's going to get even bigger than he is. He's going to be a handful, but I have faith that Jake and I can train him.

J. got him from one of his army buddies who is leaving for Afghanistan in a few weeks and had three dogs to "get rid of." It was quiiiite the experience when he showed up at my work and told me to look in his truck to see what he got for himself. Ohhh my goodness.

Once I finally get my hands on some type of Camera I will take a picture of him, and pics of my new place.


<3!

ohhh...his name is Ace, by the way. =]

Catch-up

So many things to say! First of all, today is my dad's 50th birthday. I really can't believe it.

He's such a goof. That's probably where I get it from.

My family went on a family outing today and it was really nice to spend some time with them. I have three siblings, two brothers and one sister, and I really don't get to see or talk to them much. They're all younger than me, but we're all growing up. It's hard for me to believe that my oldest younger siblilng is going off to college this year. It's kinda scary.

Anyways, the only not nice thing about today was that the reason I really came home, besides to celebrate my dad's birthday, was because I was feeling very sick and wanted my mama to take care of me. My throat has  been aching and extremely painful for the last 24 hours or so. Which I'm really not surprised by, since my Jake had these exact symptoms starting last sunday. I just thought my symptoms wouldn't be as bad as his, since I generally have a better immune system then he does. I was wrong. I almost want to say it's worse then what he had, but I guess I don't know that for sure. He left for Fort Ripley on Saturday night, which is actually a whole different story, for two weeks of training. It has a name but I'm blanking on what it is right now (AT training or something?). This will be his last two weeks of army training. So from the end of this until next march, all he has for the army is one weekend a month of "training." Good stuff.

The frustration with him going up to Ripley was that they told him he didn't have to go, and then that he did have to go, and then that he didn't have to go. So he didn't go, and the next day his Commander called and yelled at him to get to the base where they were. It was pretty serious and bad stuff, and his mind must have  been pretty preoccupied because he didn't even call or text me to say he was leaving. So I didn't get to say goodbye and now he's gone for two weeks, and I'm sure he got in really big, terrrible trouble for not going in the first place, even though it's not his fault at all because they told him he didn't have to go.

*big breath* I feel like that was a big spewing of information.

OK, another update: I am no longer moving in with my friend, Amber. Long story, but it was mostly because I just simply couldn't afford to live in the places she wanted to live. I AM, however, hopefully still moving out of my parents house. My awesome friends, Jeremiah and Melissa (Jeremiah is in the army with Jake, and Melissa is his fiance) have invited me to move in with them in their town home in Eagan. I find out tomorrow if I've been approved by their landlord! I'm pretty stinkin' nervous, and also excited! Their place is really, really awesome. I'll have to write and update when I find out, and if I did get approval then I will definitely be posting about what it's like-- with pictures!

<3's Vee

Something to Write Home About

Ohhh how I love Northern Minnesota...even if I'm freezing cold, like in this picture:

Canal Park

Justin (J's cousin) on their fishing boat trip that I conveniently did NOT go on...

His face...

Gooseberry Falls:

Grand Marais:

(we were on the roof of The Trading Post)

 That up there is Genna, Jake's sissy, and I posed in front of Worlds Best Donuts. Facebook thought I was Jake in this picture and tagged me as such. I guess after many years of practice, I'm starting to look like him. In my opinion...Gen looks more like he does then I do.

I feel like the North Shore is something that you can "write home about"...because, it's just so wonderful.

North Shore Bliss

I can currently hear the crazy crashing of the waves on Lake Superior RIGHT outside the window I'm sitting by. The water is super loud right now, but I love it. Wave noises are great.

I've had a great time on this vacation. We go home tomorrow, and I figure that since everyone else is sitting around watching TV right now that it's o.k. for me to blog real quick. I'm currently at Bluefin Bay Resort, and I'm in Jake's aunt and uncle's room. They have six kids who are all here, along with their oldest son's girlfriend and her daughter. Their family totals ten. Then Jake's sister, Genna, is here 'cause they invited her to come with one of their kids, and then there is Jake and I. That's 13 of us that are all here right now. The three or four younger girls are all sleeping right now, the rest of us are sitting in the living room/ dining room watching "Deadliest Catch."

Jake and I decided we didn't want to be complete moochers and take advantage of his aunt and uncle, so we got our own little room. When I say "little" I mean LITTLE. It's just a bed and a bathroom basically. We've spent most of our time at his aunt and uncles four bedroom place. We don't have a microwave or a fridge, so all our food is here. Thus the biggest attraction of hangin' out with all these crazy people. Haha. They are crazy, but I love it.

Today was my favorite day so far, though. I spent most of the day in our room while Jake was on a fishing trip (which I am VERY glad I didn't go on. The people who went said it was windy on the boat and that they got sea sick. ew), I read a book and I took a nap. Then when I woke up I went for a swim with almost everyone on the trip. Haha. It was glorious. A wonderful vacation day.

Yesterday Jake, Justin (his cousin), Mai (Justin's girlfriend, and my friend =] ) and I went on a 20 mile bike ride. We were all hurtin' today. But it was really fun.

All in all, this vacation has simply been wonderful. I haven't taken a lot of pictures, but I HAVE taken some, so when I finally get back to MY computer (Jake's laptop doesn't have the ability to upload my pictures) I will have to give you a photo update.

Dancing and Babies

I know it's kind of strange for me to post so close together...I've been more selective about what I blog about this time around. I guess I just want to write about the important  things instead of any of my random thoughts like I have on my other blogs in the past. But today it's sunny and for once I just feel like sitting inside. My feet hurt since I worked from 11 to 4, and I'm going Swing Dancing at two different places tonight (ouchie feet!). Thus I am trying to give my poor feeties a little brake before I go galivanting off.

Ok, so for anyone that might be reading my blog who I don't know or don't know very well...if you haven't gone swing dancing before, YOU SHOULD. It is SO much fun! The most fun swing dancing I've ever had is swinging with my kindred spirit, Laurel, as my partner. Haha. I know that sounds pretty bizarre, but she is fantastic at swing dancing. She knows the boys part and the girls part...because our "group" that goes out is usually very short on guys. She and her friend Amanda are really good at the boy part and I usually just dance with them when I go to the Wabasha Caves with that group of friends.

ONE time I went swing dancing with my bff and her then fiance (now husband) Phil, and HE is also an amazing swing dancer. She and I "shared" him as a dance partner that night, and it was super fun. I got to know his certain style of dancing really well and it was a fun and easy time. He basically just whipped me around, but I loved it. Haha. Obviously I had a part in that crazy-moving dancing. Anyways... tonight I'm going dancing with my friend Laurel at the Wabasha Caves in St. Paul, MN and THEN going to The Tapestry in Minneapolis. One is from 7pm to 10pm and one is from 10pm to midnight or one(am) I can't remember. I'm going to The Tapestry with Lauren, Phil (husband and wife) AND my bf. I'm excited for Phil to teach Jake how to dance the way he does so I can dance with Jake like I once danced with Phil!

That was a looong speil, but like I said... if you haven't gone swing dancing...doooo iiiit. I recommend The Tapestry for beginners cause it's bigger and colder...thus better for practicing. But GO EARLY... it get's busy and crowded. The Caves is great because they have live bands, but it is VERY small and crowded and HOT (Jake says this is because of the limestone. He doesn't like it there 'cause he gets overly-hot way too easy).

One last thing:

Dennis =]

This is my friend's baby. He's going to be 2 months next week. I'm in her wedding on the 18th of this month...and I'm in love with her baby! He's the sweetest thing, and makes very entertaining facial expressions/body movements. According to his mom I'm his "favorite animal at the zoo" AND "his favorite pillow" haha. He makes me want one. Not really, but ya know. I'm living vicariously through my friend. Haha.

(yes... I took a picture of  myself WHILE I was holding a baby. Don't worry about it =P)